Simple Way to Keep Your Sanity Intact Over the Holidays

The holidays can be a rough time for anyone. We all have our difficulties and hang-ups around this time of year. Maybe you're celebrating without someone you love, you don’t want to be provoked by a family member, or you might not want to answer all the questions you know are coming. No matter your reasons, issues will arise.

And I’m not here to fix it. Because, let’s be honest, I can’t fix it. And even if the issue gets resolved, another will come. That’s what being an adult is… and it sucks. So yes, enforce boundaries where you feel needed, decline invitations if required, and drink enough water. Take care of yourself and trust those around you are doing the same… even if you don't think they are. 

The only real thing I’m looking at this year is my response to others. It's the ONLY thing we can control. We can’t control someone else’s actions, what they say when we pick up another piece of pie, or even what they wear. The only thing we can control is how we respond to them. Knowing this is powerful and unpleasant at the same time. We are the only thing that can change in these situations, and waiting for others to step up will leave you disappointed. 

I’ve set boundaries and watched people disregard them. I’ve skipped events and listened to the complaints of others upset that I didn’t join. I’ve sent out holiday cards that people made fun of because they showed dogs instead of kids. It’s simply the nature of others not to see things the way you do. It's the way of the world. And other people’s responses don’t have anything to do with you. While that last sentence is still something I work on… daily… it’s the truth.

So, let’s do something nice for yourself this holiday season. Don’t expect anyone else to do it for you. Bring yourself to a nice dinner, bring a book, and get a delicious glass of wine. A nice spa day would be lovely, or even something as small as taking yourself for a walk on a beautifully chilly day. Learning that you have to do it yourself and let the actions of others go isn’t the dreamy holiday experience I imagined either. And I continue to practice this myself and mess it up. I keep trying, though. But I will say that when I began to focus on letting go of control (because that’s what it is) and letting others just be themselves, I started to feel happier. Personally, I like to look at these interactions from a writer’s perspective: Well, this is an interesting character in the story… How would I capture this on paper?

People will continue to let you down, ask terrible questions, and disappoint you. It happens. Accepting this can help move you along in a happy life. One tip I will leave you with is Mel Robbins’ “Let Them” theory. “ When you "Let Them" do whatever it is that they want to do, it creates more control and emotional peace for you and a better relationship with the people in your life.” When I’m amid someone doing something I don’t like, I’ve started to say “let them” out loud, which has helped me let go of whatever they just did.

Happy Holidays from me! Drink water, take a walk, and get enough sleep.