Imaginary Friends as an Adult

I had an imaginary friend when I was little, and I wonder what it would be like to have one now. And not like in an insane way, but rather how it felt as a child in a healthy way. There could be some exciting benefits.

When I was a kid, my friend’s name was Mickey. Mickey got a seat at the table and a seatbelt in the car. I loved Mickey and can remember feeling so happy about them hanging around. Although my dad thought something might be wrong with me, let’s note I turned out fine, and many kids experience this. The main reason Mickey showed up is that my older brother and I have a seven-year age gap. I thought he was the coolest, and while he loved me, he didn’t want to spend all of his time with me. Extremely valid, and I was alone for a lot of my childhood. This prepared me for life as I still prefer my company to anyone else’s. But as a kid, I had to get creative with my time. 

If I were to have an imaginary friend today, Mickey probably wouldn’t make the cut. I need more than a friend to sit next to… I need adult support! I need someone who will tell me what to do in life, delivered in a way I can hear it and only when I’m ready to understand it. Yes, it’s a lot to ask, but as you know, being an adult is difficult. 

I envision a calm, older woman named Rosemary. She would be encouraging and permit me to feel good about the choices I make. Rosemary would share stories from her past that made me feel loved while giving me a healthy perspective on life. Rosemary would never judge and would validate every emotion I have.

She would show up only when needed and never unannounced. And then leave when it’s time and without a big show. Rosemary would speak softly before coffee and excitedly when a dog walked by. When I talk deeply about my feelings, she shares her experiences and gives me sound advice for life in beautiful and detailed stories. Rosemary would help with creative ideas and remind me that the laundry is ready… all without being pushy. 

One of the consequences of being an adult is knowing that my imaginary friend is me. We need to be our own biggest fans and continue to love ourselves, even when we don’t want to. This takes a lot more work than a fictional woman who simply shows up when you need them. We have to do the work, and it’s exhausting, but it comes down to us at the end of the day.

So live your life as your own imaginary friend. Try new things and forgive yourself when it doesn’t go as planned. Don’t say mean things to yourself when you look in the mirror and instead think, “What would Rosemary say?” 

Love yourself the most. 

Rosemary wants this for you.